THIS was my holiday baking this year!

15 hours of construction (not including drying time)

5 pounds of powdered sugar (yes, I said 5 POUNDS!)

and who knows how many pieces of candy later....

Happy Holidays!

I can't believe that in two days it will be Christmas! No, I'm not ready! Gifts are here but not wrapped-story of my life!!
I have been challenged this year to look at Christmas differently than I have before. Always with the mindset that it's Christ's birthday, but even more so to acknowledge the blessings that I do have. I have experienced a great loss but I have also experienced great peace and many blessings!
I want to go deeper with this but for some reason I'm half brain dead tonight!! Maybe later!

Update on little AJ: He is still at CHOP. The docs think they have found what is causing his breathing struggles and he's waiting on surgery to correct this. (Good news!!) He was supposed to have surgery today but that did not work out and no definite date has been rescheduled. Please keep praying for the Coote family. The little man will be spending Christmas in the hospital which obviously adds extra heartache to the already heartbreaking situation of having to watch their son struggle to breathe and hoping they will be able to do surgery soon.

COMING SOON!!-Pics of my gingerbread house!!

...

I sat down, after a long day away, to update and share with y'all about how our Christmas is going so far and the things we are doing to chill out, get ready and celebrate. I'm going to save that for another time and, instead, ask you all to please pray.
My friend, Jen Coote, had a baby not even a week ago. I don't know much but I got a text message early this morning saying that after rushing him to Abington hospital for breathing problems he was taken to CHOP. I haven't been able to talk to Jen to know what specifically is going on but was able to get a little info from another friend. Long story short little AJ is having trouble breathing but more puzzling is why his heart rate and oxygen levels are dropping. A Facebook status several hours ago stated that they would remain there longer for testing as to figure out why this is happening. A new status update, about an hour ago, is asking God for a miracle. I'm scared and on the edge of my seat wanting to know more. That is all the info I have but please use it to pray for the little guy and his scared momma and pappa and big brother.

My Lovies!

There are many things that I'm thankful for but the biggest, by far, are the two peas in a pod in the picture! (I say that because, as much as I would love to have a "mini-me" for a daughter she is, by far, her FATHER'S daughter!!) I don't know how I would've made it through the last year without walking this journey with them. They have been my rock, comfort, and laughter when I needed them. Thank you, Lord, for my husband and my daughters. I am so blessed.

Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream

This past weekend we took a trip to Columbus OH to visit our good friends Joey and Brendan and, my sister in-law and brother in-law, Kristi and Joel! Joey actually called us out to have my help in decorating his place! (Pics on Facebook) The house is townhome and with two single guys living there it mostly looked "crashed" in and not really lived in. After much decluttering, organizing, consolidating of stuff, cleaning, and finally decorating it definitely looks lived in now! It was a really fun project and a great time hanging out with them! I miss those boys and it was really great getting to see Kristi and Joel too!

While we were there we walked a couple of blocks down to this little ice cream shop called Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream. If you've ever been there than you know what a unique place it is! It's not your typical ice cream shop with flavors like Goat Cheese with Cognac Fig Sauce, Star Anise with Candied Fennel and Sweet Potato with Torched Marshmallows! I was in heaven with my trio of the goat cheese with fig sauce, sweet potato with marshmallow and a scoop of black coffee! YUM! Oh, and not to mention all the other flavors I sampled while trying to decide! If you're ever near a Jeni's CHECK IT OUT!

It was so nice to have a weekend away but no matter what kind of memories I'm creating my thoughts go straight to the one who isn't here creating them with us.

Little Red Riding Hood and the pumpkin!

It's been awhile (again!) since I've posted so I thought I'd quick put something up! I have the best of intentions to be a good blogger and I have a lot of ideas of posts. I love journaling and sharing my life this way but for some reason, at the end of the day when my to-do list still has a million things NOT crossed off of it, blogging is put on the bottom of the list. (sigh)

ANYWAY...

Not much is new around here. Andy's job is going well, my shows are picking up (thank goodness because we need the money!) and we are kept pretty busy with the normal every-day-life stuff!

I do have a few post ideas for some specific projects I've been working on and that sort of thing. Will I ever get to them?! I guess only time will tell!

We went trick-or-treating this past Halloween. I've never really put a ton of thought and effort into Halloween. The occasional party with friends here and there but nothing too serious. Now that we are having kids I'm getting more into it. I love the fun of dressing up and the challenge and creativity behind fabricating a costume! And don't the littles look so darn cute in costume?! I plan on putting more creativity and challenge into it for the coming years with some theme ideas. Really I guess it's all about family time for me. We were able to spend the evening with Andy's parents having dinner, trick-or-treating (which didn't last long with Gwen!) passing out candy, and sipping hot cocoa! It was a great evening of family time and I treasure those kind of times more than I ever used to.

Of course these kind of times make me ache even more for Olivia to be here with us. The "Olivia bunny" that you see in the picture is our comforting way of representing her as part of the family (which she still is because she still LIVES!) but how I long to see a 7 month old, crawling, dark-headed, and even fussy little girl taking it's place! I wonder what she would have been this year for Halloween. I probably would have dressed her up in Gwen's lady bug outfit from two years ago since she would have been the exact same age and, I'm sure, size...

It's times like this that things get rough.

Anywho enjoy the pic of Little Red and her trusty....er...pumpkin?! Yes we always take our dog trick-or-treating with us and dress her up! Doesn't everyone?!

Six Month's ago.

I didn't sit down to write a new post. I sat down to check my email (and facebook of course!!) but I glanced down at today's date...

Six months ago today I buried my baby girl.

Six months ago this evening I watched it start to rain, just like it is now, and wondered if she was safe and protected from the wet and cold.

Six months ago I got ready for bed wondering how I would EVER live life normally again.

My heart is heavy as I remember these details and many more but I am thankful for each day that God gives me with my loved ones and how He has shown me that I can live. I am thankful for the certainty of knowing that Olivia LIVES!

...but I still want her here.