Saturday, February 20, 2010
I MUST update this blog!!
First of all I apologize to those of you who have been waiting for an update. I have been meaning to post one for awhile, more so in the last few days. I feel like this past month has been a whirlwind of sickness in our house mixed with catching up from that and keeping busy with Pampered Chef, family, and a few other things. I'm glad for the activity though. It's nice to not just be sitting around and thinking all the time.
It's been so long since I updated last because I really don't have a lot of new news. Nothing major anyway. The newest news would be my latest Dr. appointment. I was anxious to go to the dr. this week because I had a lot of questions regarding delivering Olivia. I'm getting pretty close now (5 weeks) and with that comes thinking about the details.
My questions to him where things like if I have to be induced is that going to put more stress on Olivia? Why is her heart rate normal when I'm waiting for it not to be? What can Grandview (which does not have a NICU) do for her if she is struggling with this that or the other? Stuff like that.
I had been having second thought about Grandview because of the fact that they don't have a NICU. Yes, I know that no hospital on the face of the earth can fix Olivia's brain, but what if she's born struggling to breathe? (We are not necessarily thinking that she will, this is just a what if.) Dr. M reminded me that even healthy babies can have those kind of problems and of course they are equipped to handle immediate concerns like that.
I asked who would be taking care of Olivia in the hospital. I had spoken to our pediatrician about the situation and I got the feeling when I left that he didn't quite get what the condition was. I was told that Grandview had a pediatrician from CHOP there all the time and they would take care of her. We made plans to get in touch with him to talk about a plan of care for her when she is born.
I asked about her heart. I have been waiting to go in and find that it has drastically gone from normal to abnormal and it hasn't! Does this mean anything? Will they monitor her during delivery? He told me that they can monitor it if it continues to stay normal. Many times the heart rate is all over the place, especially during delivery, and this gives the doctors no indication of fetal distress or anything else because it doesn't follow any kind of pattern. He said if they see a normal-normal heart rate and then see a normal-abnormal heart rate that does indicate fetal stress would I want a c-section? Yes. If the case was that they could see she was in distress of course I would do whatever I could for her just like any other child I would have.
One last thing I wanted to get a different perspective on was the funeral. It's not a fun thing to talk about but it's a very realistic part of this situation. I have been praying and praying that God shows me what to do to be prepared. Whether it's plan a funeral, get some baby clothes down from the attic to wash up and get ready to use, etc. I asked Dr. M if I should be planning a funeral. Should I plan on her definitely not living more than a day or so? I told him that I don't feel led to plan her funeral at this point. He simply said don't do it. "You know you will be there at some point but now is not the time to do that." I felt very encouraged and supported by him. He said that we don't know for sure that she won't hang on for a little while and hopefully come home for a bit! Nobody is saying that she definitely will but it could happen. We just don't know. He also said that if we would have to make those kind of arrangements right away they have people that will help us with that. It's nothing we will have to try to figure out on our own, especially right after giving birth.
I have more to tell you about speaking with the pediatrician from CHOP but I've got a nap to interrupt if I want to stay on schedule for bedtime tonight! I will update again SOON and I won't make you all wait so long!
The quilt in the picture was made and sent to us from our church back in IN! I bawled like a baby when I opened it. The families all got a square to contribute and it's full of encouraging words and scripture. I will treasure it forever and be happy to have it years from now when it will be a reminder to us of all the love and support we had during this time.