Wednesday, April 7, 2010
And life goes on....?
I've thought so many times that I need to update the blog. Even now as I'm doing it I'm sitting here having no clue what to write. It's been over a week now since Olivia's memorial service. It was lovely. We couldn't have asked for a better turn out of friends, family, or a better display of celebrating Olivia's life and acknowledging God's hand in this whole situation. For those of you that weren't able to make it our pastor opened up the service and my dad preached the sermon which, if I do say so myself, was incredible. It was a great and yet horrible day all at the same time. We had a wonderful slide show made by Kevin which I hope to be able to share with you soon and Andy finished it all up by playing Amazing Grace on his cello at the graveside service which I hope to share that with you soon as well.
But time moves on doesn't it? The flowers are dying. Life still happens. There are diapers to change, bills to pay, errands to run and all sorts of things to get back to. I would say I'm managing all of that well but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think about Olivia every second of every day. Everything around me reminds me somehow of her. Even this weather which helps me deal with my sadness but also takes me right back to last summer when I was pregnant with her and makes me sad all at the same time. I can't really explain it. I miss her more than I can express. We didn't care that she had deformities or that she was mentally handicap. To us she was beautiful and perfect and we loved her with every fiber of our being. It's not fair!!
I do feel like before I close that I need to say thanks. Thanks to you all. Thanks to everyone in our churches for prayers, meals, and other forms of support. Thanks to all of our family for walking along side us through this and for all of our friends who have done the same. I can't possibly name everyone and some of you I don't even know. THANK YOU. We have never felt for one second that we didn't have an amazing support system. I know we would not have gotten through without you all and I know that God has used you in this crazy journey to minister to us.
Please keep praying. These days are dark.